Hi, I'm Rachel. I'm a twentysomething journalist and social researcher interested in the relationship between sex, status and the self. I'm also writing a book on the topic. These are the ingredients that fuel my theories.
Check out my main blog, Musings of an Inappropriate Woman.
Click here to email me.
Femininity is thus not the product of a choice, but the forcible citation of a norm, one whose complex historicity is indissociable from relations of discipline, regulation, punishment.Judith Butler, Bodies that Matter (via seebster)NOTE TO SELF:
I know you really want to know. And I know how hard it is to find out. We search the web, we look at porn, we read self-help books and listen to podcasts. If we’re bold we ask our best friend.Finally: Normal sex revealed
forget about trying to prove some sort of risqué bona fides, and to focus instead on all that interior whirring.Claire Dederer
For me, the most troublesome part of Grindr has always been its proximity to commerce. In the Grindr economy, your body is your currency. You use the app to shop the catalogue of headless, shirtless torsos, to find one that you can afford (meaning someone who is at a similar fitness level). For someone like me with notorious body issues, this clearly presents a problem. But there’s also something kind of gross about it. Like emotionless and clinical. Totally the antithesis of romantic.Have hookup apps ruined gay romance?
Thus, sexology sets ‘orgasm’ up as the universal, empirical definition of sexual pleasure, and an essential component of health to which we all have a right. The asserted link between sexual fulfilment and emotional wellbeing impels us to liberate ourselves from inhibitions so that we are able to discover our ‘true selves’ through orgasmic sex (Brunt, 1982). In accordance with this sexual liberation ideology, we now have a ‘duty’ to have orgasms since experts, lovers and we ourselves expect this as a mark of ‘normal’ sexual experience. The right and duty to have orgasms reproduces what has been termed an ‘orgasmic imperative’ (an obligation) in contemporary sexual experience.Lindy Wilbraham, 1996
Sexology, as a liberal approach, sees sex as transcendent of social determinants, ie ‘a universal language’. Thus, sex information and techniques are empowering of individuals: to know what-to-do and how-to-do-it diminishes anxiety and increases autonomy in sexual encounters. Constructivists argue that our experience of sexuality is bound by our class, gender, cultural/religious positions. Medicosexual knowledges are ideology-laden, then, in that they reproduce a particular (class-based) definition of sexuality and sexual relationships as ‘universal’ (LaFountaine, 1989).Lindy Wilbraham, 1996